So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
