u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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