I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
