Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
