Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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