I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
