So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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