id be glad to
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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