u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
