id be glad to
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
