i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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