her vagine was all disorganized.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm like, not good at living.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
