Please, let me fuck your mom
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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