I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Still dying that you shit outside
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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