I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
