woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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