You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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