you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
