Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
