I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
