another moral hangover. fuck.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
