you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
