Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
