This girl is more easily done than said...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
