just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
