her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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