so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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