He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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