you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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