I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
