T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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