hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
