I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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