flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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