i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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