so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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