i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
