so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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