But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
