but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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