Tell her she can't have a vagina
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
What drink are we having for lunch?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
