We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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