The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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