i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
