it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
