Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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