my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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