This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
