Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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