I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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